It’s Not Always Fun and Games – September 20th 2000

I have up days and down days. Today is definitely, by far, a down day. I just wish I could go to sleep for a really long time and wake up when this whole year is over with.

Today is a destroying of mind and heart day, where all I want to do is stay under the covers and cry. I know that sounds pathetic, but that’s just how it is I’m afraid.

I can’t take all this anymore, I just want to get away from it all.

I keep getting called in to Mrs Brown all the time. She keeps trying to talk to me and I don’t want to talk to her. She says that I’m always mad all the time, doing and saying angry things. I’m not really, everyone else is just as bad! How many times is she going to call me in there? How many times have I walked into that office feeling like shit, then walked out feeling even worse. Then I just wake up the next day and know the same old things are going to happen.

I’m so damn sick of her saying “You’ll feel so much better if you talk about it”. HAH. Well I never feel better after all the things she has forced me to confess to her. Even when I try, she’ll just butt in anyway and tell me what SHE thinks before I’ve even finished.

And my friends, they are such bad friends. Cece is a complete dick head. She’s friends with Samantha again and I want to have nothing to do with either of them. George told me they called him behind my back, and they were trying to get him to say things about me. What’s that about?

Mrs Brown made me sit in her office the other week with a teddy bear on a stool and she kept saying, “Pretend the bear is your dad, and say what you want to say to him”. I just started blankly at her and said, “Yeah, that’s not my dad”. Then she said, “Well, just imagine”. And I said, “This isn’t Barney”.

Oh well, I had a sleepover with Chels a while ago and she told me this joke:

Chels: “Ask me if I’m a police man”

Me: “Are you a police man?”

Chels: “No.”

HAH. It’s the best non-joke ever, and I smile every time I think of it. I guess some of my friends are okay, hehe.



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