I Think I Got Away With It – November 13, 2000

Finally I’m back from school and I can finish what I was writing yesterday.

After everyone found out about me and Shane, we went back and joined the party, without having to hide it from everyone. What was annoying though, was that everybody wanted to know EVERYTHING about EVERTYHING. When did it happen. Had we liked eachother like that all along. Was this going on since last time we were busted kissing. Had we had sex. Do we ‘luuuurve’ eachother. Do my other friends know. Does this mean we’re exclusive now.

I just wanted to scream ‘SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP’. But instead we were both nice about it, didn’t really tell them anything and acted coy about everything.

We had a few more drinks, a bit of a dance. Some moron microwaved an egg still in it’s shell and it blew up all over James’ kitchen.

Noise control came twice. But that usually happens.

Something happened between Lissy and Teesh and they had a huge fight in front of everyone. Lissy ended up crying in the toilet for half an hour and I couldn’t get her out. Neither of them would tell anybody what it was about, but I’m almost positive that it’s because Teesh kept looking at a GUY.

After a while I was just so tired, and then I kept getting nervous about whether mum and dad were going to find out about me not being where I was supposed to be for the night. I made Dane drive me past my parents house. It was 1am. They weren’t home yet. I was SO RELIEVED!

Then I went back without a care in the world.

I was so tired that as soon as I went back to the house I brushed my teeth and hair, got changed, and hopped into bed. After 10 minutes Shane came in and crawled into bed with me. He put his arms around me and nuzzled into my neck. It was that moment when I realised I didn’t even care if I DID get caught out by mum and dad, that this was worth it times a billion.

I can’t lie, we did it again. Quite a lot. I think that it’s getting better and better each time. I didn’t go to sleep until about 4:30am. It wasn’t just because of “that”, but because we were talking, laughing, joking, singing and telling stories too. He’s a fun person to be around, and that’s why we’ve been friends for so long.

After I fell asleep, each time I woke up a little bit it was like he knew because his arms got tighter around me and he pulled me closer.

I swear I would run away forever with him just so we could do this all the time. I’m sure lots of people say that, but I really, really mean it. I really love him so much that I could cry, as a friend, as more than a friend. I know I’ve said that before in this diary about someone else, but now I feel like this I realise everything I thought about love and relationships really didn’t even mean anything. But I guess that’s just how it goes.

In the morning, when I woke up, I got to roll over and see his face while he was sleeping, and he looked happy and cute. His face is still bruised from the other day at the skate park, and his knuckles are bruised too. But that somehow added to his charm.

It was about 10 minutes later that the others came in, jumped into bed with us, 7 of us in the bed together, making jokes about the night before and whining about our headaches.

James asked Shane if he wanted to go to the beach for a surf. Then everybody else decided it was a good idea too. I said I’d better get home, and then everybody started peer pressuring me to go with them!

I said that I was nervous in case Chels called me at home. Then I would be found out and who even knows what they would do.

Lissy had a great idea that I call Chels, tell her that I’m doing something I didn’t want my parents knowing about, and if she could not call me at home. So I did. She was on the phone for ages trying to get me to tell her what exactly what I was doing. Exactly who I was with. Exactly where I was going. I held her off by saying I’d tell her at school. I don’t think I will though.

I had to go by Lissy’s and borrow a bikini. It’s so gross wearing someone elses bikini. Yuck. But it was better than wearing my underwear on the beach, that’s where I draw the line.

We had to take a couple of cars, but I went with Shane, James and the other guys. It’s always better for some reason hanging out with a bunch of dudes. You can joke about anything, say anything, and no matter how gross it is they will find it funny.

In the car we got high.

When I got to the beach I felt really giddy, like everything was funny. I got out of the car like a bullet out of a gun, ran down to the beach, peeling off and throwing my clothes as I went.

I ran straight into the stream that leads to the beach. The water was so cold after being in the stuffy car. But I felt the best, really relaxed, happy, a little bit high. With the black sand under my feet and the blue skies above me. It was all perfect.

I saw the others coming closer then. Shane was picking up my clothes bit by bit, shaking his head at me. He yelled “What the hell are you doing?” But I knew he was amused.

He said he was going to teach me how to surf. I wasn’t great. Standing up was so hard, I kept slipping off and each time my heart was leaping because I was worried I was going to get hurt. The surf was really rough so I tried to catch waves that had broken and were slowly making their way to shore. It only really worked twice.

Behind where the waves were breaking we both had a rest and sat facing eachother on the board. We had an impromptu sing along and a little kiss. But I was worried I was getting sunburned so swam to the shore.

We stayed there for about 3 hours when I decided I should definitely go home.

When I came back mum asked why Chels’ parents didn’t come in. I said they were in a rush. She asked me why my feat were covered in sand. I told her they’d taken us for a stroll along the beach. I was still a bit high. I wanted my half an apple.

I can’t believe I actually got away with this. And I think I just had the best 21 hours of my life. Take me back again.


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