Love and Lust – November 21st, 2000

I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Mainly about love. And I’m feeling really confused, so I talked to some of my friends at school. In a round about way because I don’t want them to know about anything I’ve been doing, I don’t want them to know that I’m sleeping with Shane.

Things in my inner circle have a way of getting leaked to pretty much everyone in school. And not just that, but everyone in my group back stabs eachother. What they say to your face is not what they say behind your back. In the last few days I’ve already heard people calling me a slut. Even though they don’t know anything. They don’t even know if the gossip is true or not, they just choose to believe what they want. Imagine if they knew the truth, it would be over for me.

I’m not a slut, not at all. I’m not an idiot, I know I’m young. I know I am. But I can’t help what I feel like, how was I to know this was going to happen?

Anyway, I asked them about love and sort of hypothetically skirted around my situation as a ‘what if’… scenario. All of them told me that they don’t think we’re old enough to really be in love. They said they think we’re at the age where the only thing we can feel is lust.

And now I’m wondering if this is true.

I wish I’d never asked them.

Oh well, whatever it is I’m just going to go with it.

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3 thoughts on “Love and Lust – November 21st, 2000

  1. Hey, I don’t think that when we’re young you can only feel lust. I’m 16 and I’ve had LOAAADSSS of crushes, really really really like a guy and was once definitely in love. When you’re in love you just know it. My bestfriend fell for an older guy when she was 14. She said she was in love and no one believed her. She married the guy at a young age and they’ve been married for like 12 years now and they have kids and everything and they’re just so cute. I do believe in love at any age 🙂

    • That’s amazing. I love hearing stories about people finding the love of their life at a young age. It’s so heart warming 🙂
      When I look back now I realise that I truly did love him, and if we both hadn’t listened to what other people were saying to us all the time I think it would have been even more amazing than it was. That’s why we so badly wanted to keep it from everyone.
      It’s such a confusing time being a teenager, when everything is a first.

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