I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Mainly about love. And I’m feeling really confused, so I talked to some of my friends at school. In a round about way because I don’t want them to know about anything I’ve been doing, I don’t want them to know that I’m sleeping with Shane.
Things in my inner circle have a way of getting leaked to pretty much everyone in school. And not just that, but everyone in my group back stabs eachother. What they say to your face is not what they say behind your back. In the last few days I’ve already heard people calling me a slut. Even though they don’t know anything. They don’t even know if the gossip is true or not, they just choose to believe what they want. Imagine if they knew the truth, it would be over for me.
I’m not a slut, not at all. I’m not an idiot, I know I’m young. I know I am. But I can’t help what I feel like, how was I to know this was going to happen?
Anyway, I asked them about love and sort of hypothetically skirted around my situation as a ‘what if’… scenario. All of them told me that they don’t think we’re old enough to really be in love. They said they think we’re at the age where the only thing we can feel is lust.
And now I’m wondering if this is true.
I wish I’d never asked them.
Oh well, whatever it is I’m just going to go with it.