Throwing Petrol on a Bonfire – November 24th, 2000

Many might disagree, but to me, today was probably the best day at school I’ve ever had. Before you judge what I’m going to say, please remember that over the last few days all I’ve had from people is gossip, weird looks, nasty remarks, and that’s if I’m not being completely ignored.

I know that I go to a Catholic school, and a lot of my friends are religious. Even I’m religious I guess, in a way, because I’ve been brought up that way by my nan… but I don’t see why that always means that it has to get in the way with what I want to do with my body.

A million people could argue against what I just said, but sometimes the human side takes over, where we know what we’re doing might not be what we’re ‘supposed’ to do, but it’s what we feel we want to do. And as a human, feeling like I should do something often becomes the most important thing.

I guess what I did today would be what some people would call ‘un-Christian’, but I don’t care right now, getting my own back on those two-faced bitches is all that’s on my mind.

I love it how the whole time they’ve been talking about me, and spreading malicious gossip, they had conveniently forgot what I’ve got on them… heh heh heh.

Today after 3rd period, because we were in the good room, everyone sort of hung back after class when the bell rang. It’s a way better place to hang out at lunch than outside because everyone can listen to music and do their thing.

Anyway, after our teacher left, that’s when things got really weird. All my supposed friends turned their back on me and went and clustered in the corner together, looking back at me now and again and laughing. There was about 10 other girls in the room too, just dotted around together.

So, I stood on a chair and yelled out to get everyone’s attention. Then I said something along the lines of:

“Hey guys. Er, yeah, this is pretty awkward, but I thought it was best to get it out in the open. But I started having sex the other week”, (this was when I opened my mouth like I was shocked), “Crazy eh? Actually, it’s not really that crazy considering someone else from our year is having a BABY. Well, I just want you all to know that shock horror, the world hasn’t ended, I haven’t been struck down by lightning. Thanks for listening”.

They all looked at me with their mouths open when Chels said, “Ugh. What has gotten into you lately?”

Shanti said, “Why are you being such a slut?”

So I got back on the chair. “Oh reaaally Shanti? Interesting that you think I’m a slut when you did this…” Then I pulled out of my blazer a few pieces of paper that I’d stolen from her diary, entries which she had written about her internet boyfriend. Then I read a few lines aloud.

“Darren. I cried so hard tonight when my mum was on the phone for the whole night and I couldn’t meet you in the chat room. I can’t stop thinking about your arms around me. I want you so bad…” And that was all I needed to say.

Everyone was in hysterics.

I looked at her face and deep down I knew that I should feel bad, but I didn’t. I felt really good watching her squirm. It was just two seconds ago that she had called me a slut.

Then Chels was screaming, “What the fuck is wrong with you what the fuck is wrong with you?”.

“What’s wrong with me?” I said, “What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re the one that’s always obsessed with everything I do. Jealous of boys I go out with. Trying to control my life”.

Then out of my pocket I pulled another piece of paper. It was a poem she wrote to me about how much she loves me and all kinds of soppy stuff. I only had to wave it at her and say, “Don’t make me do it”.

She threw her hands up, and her eyes welled with tears. I wasn’t going to do it, I just wanted her to know I could.

She picked up her bag and ran out of the room. The rest of them followed her.

When they left all the other girls were laughing and patting me on the back, because apparently they don’t like my friends, who they called ‘prissy’. But it’s not like I don’t like my friends, more that I wanted to take the power back.

For the rest of the day, and I know I should be ashamed to say this (but I’m not), I had a smile on my face the WHOLE DAY. I don’t even care if they don’t ever want to speak to me again. I just wanted to teach them a lesson.

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